Writing (typing, whatever) has always been a way for me to weed out the demons I can dance with from those that try to devour me. I have not done a great job of exorcising those demons these last two years. I would claim an attempt to do better, but I know I will not. The urge to write is seldom felt these days, mostly due to egregious amounts of frustration and anger. I feed off my anger, generally, using it to provoke me in to bettering myself. That has not been the case these past two years. I’ve done well in reconciling my past with who I want to be, overall, but I have learned there is a “full up” point you can reach where you’ve just been through or seen too much. I seem to have hit that point last year and have seen no cessation in the feelings of melancholic apathy. I am angry over several things that have happened. I have two people in particular I wish to lash out at, to rain down wrath upon them such as they deserve. One is untouchable at the moment due to circumstance, and the other I refuse to contact because he does not deserve my time or effort or emotions. And all anger tends to stem from its equal counterpart at some juncture….that counterpart being love (or deep caring/respect/whatever..they all go hand in hand.) So to the person who ever wants an ex to “keep his [sic] name out of their mouths”, I give you this.
Some early morning “real talk” for you..
Jealousy is not cute. Ever. It is the height of insecurity in yourself, your partner, and your relationship. You don’t need to worry about “those hoes”, you need to worry about why you don’t trust your partner.
A “real” woman or man is whatever the bloody hell they decide to be.
Healthy isn’t a number on a scale.
Someone else’s numbers on a scale is none of your damn business.
Sexy isn’t numbers on a scale, either. Sexy is attitude and confidence.
Three dates/booty calls is not a relationship.
A ring doesn’t make someone loyal; their choices and actions do.
Putting a ring on it isn’t going to fix the broken shit; you fix that together.
Communication isn’t just a vocabulary word.
“Love at first sight” is complete and utter nonsense. That is called attraction, lust, desire. Which can be built on, if two people decide to do so.
There is no such thing as “the wrong time”. You both decide to work shit out together, or you don’t. PERIOD.
Love doesn’t give a shit about skin colour, religion, ancestral ethnicity, financial status, career status, or any of that other crap. It gives a shit about how the other person makes your soul shine during dark times, how their smile is all you can see when they’re near, how you crave their voice when they’re gone, how you want to experience life – good and bad – with them.
Someone else’s love is also none of your damn business unless one of them is being abused in ways they do not want.
Someone else’s sex life..see directly above.
Someone else’s choices in life are also none of your damn business unless they are being abused in ways they do not want or abusing others in ways they do not want.
Homosexuality is not a choice.
Hate IS a choice.
We all have prejudices against groups of people. ALL OF US. What makes us better is realizing this and actively working to remove those prejudices from ourselves, individually, and working in groups to combat ignorance.
None of us “deserve” shit, good or bad. That is a word we have come to throw around based on our emotions. What you say I “deserve”, another would cry “foul” if I received. Sometimes, however, the universe/life/whatever tosses us an opportunity. We either run with it or we do not.
There is NEVER an circumstance for which you do not have a reason to smile, laugh, and dance.
Positivity is a choice, not a circumstance.
The universe and world don’t give a shit about you. Creating and maintaining good bonds with exceptional people is a must.
You must love yourself.
You must find the parts of you that are not who you want to be and change them.
ONLY the individual can change themselves; you can never – EVER – change anyone but you. Ever.
Know when to stay and when to walk. When in doubt, it is time to go.
It is never – EVER – okay for someone to lay hands on you without your permission.
It is never – EVER – okay for you to lay hands on someone without their permission.
It is never – EVER – okay for someone to hit you unless you hit them first. In that case, you are a dumbass and they have the right to defend themselves.
It is never – EVER – okay for you to hit someone unless they hit you first. In that case, they are a dumbass and have the right to defend yourself.
You have the right to your beliefs and others should respect that right. That doesn’t mean you get to shove your beliefs on others.
We don’t have to believe the same shit to be friends.
We can discuss and even debate topics without resorting to name-calling.
It is just the Internet; this shit isn’t THAT damn serious.
If someone does not treat you right, talk to them to find out why without being an asshole. If they don’t change, walk.
And to go with the last one….
You are worth more than being someone’s back-burner bitch, whipping post, doormat.
If you want something, don’t wait for it….go WORK for it.
Don’t ever let someone trounce your past. It made you who you are. If they truly love you, they’ll appreciate your struggles and celebrate the victories and losses that brought you together.
Don’t ever let the world or someone make you feel you deserve less than you want. Don’t expect it to be handed to you; go work for it. But don’t let the harshness of your experiences harden you in to someone cold, unfeeling, hurt to the point of being a shell. Fight for your happiness, fight like hell. And enjoy every second of life; one day you’ll be back with the stars.
Before any of you get all panty-wadded over the titled, just don’t. Fucking don’t.
Now that’s over with, let us continue. I am sure several of you have seen the article comparing John Lennon and Trent Reznor where it waxes poetical about Lennon’s Love Is All You Need and Reznor’s Love Is Not Enough. It goes on to state Lennon was a known abuser of his love and sex interests (so was Reznor, actually) and how he never took time for his family and wife and whatever. Then it goes on to say how Reznor took time off to spend with his family (very admirable) and how he understood love isn’t all you need. For the record; Reznor was a piece of shit to most of his love interests until he fell for his wife. It has been pretty well documented by groupies, staff, other bands. So let’s not try to compare apples and apples and call one an orange, mmmkay? HOWEVER, he DID clean his shit up, and he is correct: love is NOT enough. In case you have not read the post and give a fuck – http://markmanson.net/love
Love is the absolute smallest and most easily obtained building block one needs for a healthy and happy relationship. Love is the one piece of a relationship that comes EASILY. It is also easily lost, if you do not take care of it. But that goes in to other aspects of relationships.
You must have compassion, understanding, trust, loyalty, a deep desire to stay together, a willingness to compromise and work with the other person, genuine joy in their presence, a profound commitment to their happiness, your happiness, your happiness together. Love is NOT enough. You must be willing to take care of one another, defend one another, and kick one another in the ass when necessary (though the manner of the kicking differs greatly for each person and situation). You must BOTH have all of these qualities, and more. You both have to hold your relationship as THE most important relationship, because all your other relationships can be built or destroyed based on that one at the center.
(Read more below.)