My last blog entry was about love. Well, I would like to follow up that entry with an addition.
A few days ago, a Facebook friend posted this screenshot:
This screenshot made me tear up a little, because it is a wonderful example of love in its simplest most pure form. Allow me to explain why, in light of my previous post.
We are flawed, each of us. We are products of our environments, the people around us, how we are raised, how we are treated, the information we learn, the horrors and joys we witness throughout our lives. But mostly, we are a product of our own choices. We CHOOSE to change who we are based on the factors listed above, and more. Who hurt us and how, who we hurt and how, daily nuisances and successes, et cetera. Simply, we are the end result of what we choose to allow to affect us, and how we choose to let it affect us.
(Read more below. It is worth your time, promise..)
But what if we go through life with a pure heart, a joyous spirit, and refuse to let anything in the world change us from the person we are at our core? What if we make the choice to be exactly who the fuck we are, beginning to end? That is what I see here, in this screenshot.
You see, love really is easy. The RELATIONSHIP is what is hard, but ONLY if we choose to let it be so. We make things harder based on our own fears and worries based on the stupid shit we’ve seen or personally experienced in the past. We make a conscious choice to be this way, and it, in many ways, destroys us and any chance we might have for happiness with another until we allow ourselves to be the person we are at our core. No fear. No anger. No despair. Just be.
So we go through life being the me that we are, the me we try to hide through layers of distrust, jokes, fear, anger, jealousy, hatred, worry.. We cover up that core in a mass of scars of our hurts and fears. I don’t know how many of you have a lot of scars, or ever had them cut through, but that shit hurts and is hard as hell to cut through. It’s like trying to cut through a piece of frozen chicken instead of a nice chunk of thawed meat. How the hell can we expect anyone else to cut through our refusal to let go of that pain and hurt if we won’t even REALLY try ourselves?
The people we allow to become closest to us will always have the best opportunities to hurt us the most. That is simple logic. The people we allow closest are those who have the keys to our deepest fears and trusts. They are the few we let in to the hidden chambers of our souls, our weakest most fragile rooms, armed to the teeth, hoping above all hopes they won’t use those weapons. And they will. Every last motherfucker will use those weapons at some point, whether they mean to or not. Don’t worry; you will, too. But….we cannot live in fear of those weapons or the damage those wielding them will cause.
I’ve said a long time ya gotta kiss a lot of snakes to find a frog to turn in to a prince or princess. For most of us, that is true… but it becomes more true because we are also snakes. We hide much of who we are, afraid the other person won’t like it, or afraid the other person will destroy it.
Fuck that shit. FUCK THAT SHIT.
FUCK being someone I am not, even out of fear. I am me. You know me, you get the real god damn cunty fuck you all me. You EARN your way in to my heart. If I love you, it is because you are a bad ass motherfucker deserving my love. And you earn it through your actions, your words, who you CHOOSE to be, not because of any shit you could possibly give me or help me with. I’m a grown-ass woman. I can buy my own shit, take care of myself, take myself out to dinner if I so choose. I don’t need anyone to do that, nor have I ever expected it. But I appreciate those who WANT to, who also let me do the same.
You see, the best relationships (of any type) are based on mutual love, compassion, tolerance, understanding, friendship and respect.
Yeah. That is pretty much it. It really does not take much, but it is so god damn hard for most people to give more than one or two of those.
So we go back to the screenshot and the point of this post, and its relation to the previous post. This is, I think, a perfect example of a man who did not let the world change him. When he met his wife, he was the me at his core. Throughout their marriage, their life together, he has remained the me at his core. And when he lost ALL the memories of their life together, the life they shared building more bonds and strengthening that love, he still wanted her. He still wanted to be with her, to marry her… not knowing they had already spent a lifetime together. That me at his core knew she was the woman for him, even when he no longer knew who the fuck he was.
Do you understand how god damn amazing that is? How…beautiful. How absolutely stunningly.. I have no words.
The world is a cold cruel place. Humans can be so damn heartless and uncaring. They can break you with tiny pinpricks of pain every day for years at a time..be they parents, siblings, so-called friends, lovers, bosses..All of the above.
Don’t let the world change you. Be the me at your core. Don’t settle. Know what you want and go for it. If you don’t know what you want – don’t take just anything. be patient. Bust ass and work hard. Be the me at your core. And if someone doesn’t like that me, move on. There is no shame in cutting ties with toxic people. None at all! We hurt over the loss of what we THOUGHT we had, not what we actually lost, because when we cut these uncompromising intolerant fools from our lives, we are not losing anything but dead weight. Make a conscious choice every day to not let the bullshit, drama, negativity, pure CRAP of others change who you are.
Be the me at your core.